Apakah Orangtua Perlu Minta Maaf Kepada Anak? Kapan dan Bagaimana Caranya? -Ada tiga kata yang paling berguna dalam kehidupan kita, yaitu tolong, terima kasih, dan maaf. Banyak dari kita mungkin sering mengucapkan tolong ketika meminta bantuan orang lain. Kemudian kita juga mudah berkata terima kasih ketika kita mendapatkan apa yang kita kehendaki.
Namun, sulit rasanya berkata maaf. Mengapa? Karena berkata maaf berarti kita telah melakukan sebuah kesalahan. Maaf sulit terucap karena manusia seringkali menolak untuk mengakui kesalahannya sendiri.
Orangtua pada umumnya, selalu mengajarkan anak ketiga hal tersebut agar anak tumbuh menjadi pribadi yang disiplin dan bertanggung jawab. Dengan meminta tolong pada orang lain, anak dilatih untuk merendahkan diri dan tidak sombong karena setiap manusia butuh bantuan orang lain. Dengan mengucap terima kasih, secara tidak langsung anak dilatih untuk bersikap hormat kepada orang lain. Dengan meminta maaf, secara tidak langsung anak dilatih untuk belajar mengakui kesalahan serta memperbaiki diri.
Namun ditemui banyak orangtua yang merasa canggung untuk Minta Maaf Kepada Anak. Tak perduli apakah orangtua salah atau tidak. Sebisa mungkin orangtua menghindar untuk meminta maaf. Dengan alasan bahwa meminta maaf akan mengurangi rasa hormat anak kepada orangtua.
Tidakkah seharusnya orangtua berpikir bahwa Anda pun akan lebih menghargai orang lain saat mereka menghadapi kesalahan dan berusaha memperbaiki keadaan? Begitu pula pemikiran anak. Anak akan lebih menghormati Anda ketika Anda pun mengakui kesalahan dengan meminta maaf dan memperbaikinya. Tidak akan mengurangi rasa hormat anak kepada Anda.
Ternyata alasannya bukan hanya itu saja. Orangtua yang menghindar untuk meminta maaf bukan hanya takut rasa hormat anak berkurang, tetapi juga merasa malu. Tak hanya malu untuk mengakui kesalahan, namun juga gengsi karenan orangtua merasa memiliki otoritas lebih dibanding anak.
Bayangkan ketika atasan Anda di tempat kerja melakukan kesalahan terhadap Anda. Tetapi ia malu untuk meminta maaf. Apa yang Anda pikirkan? Sebaliknya, jika ia melakukan kesalahan dan minta maaf secara langsung. Apa yang Anda rasakan? Begitu pula dengan pikiran dan perasaan anak.
Tahukah Anda, apa yang anak pelajari ketika orangtua menghindar untuk meminta maaf? Sekecil apapun itu?
Meminta maaf berarti kita melakukan kesalahan besar. Kata maaf hanya akan terucap ketika ada kesalahan besar. Kesalahan kecil tak membutuhkan kata maaf. Ada rasa malu yang melekat, karena dengan meminta maaf berarti menurunkan status atau derajat kita. Orangtua tidak ingin anak mengurangi rasa hormatnya ketika mereka meminta maaf. Begitupun anak, ada perasaan “gengsi” dalam hatinya.
Tidak masalah untuk merusak hubungan, berpura-pura tidak tahu, atau berusaha memperbaikinya. Maaf hanya membuat kita malu, lebih baik putus hubungan dengan orang tersebut atau bahkan berpura-pura tidak mengetahui ada masalah.
Anak dipaksa untuk meminta maaf, dan hanya akan melakukannya dengan keadaan terpaksa, tidak sungguh-sungguh. Sungguh keadaan yang ironi, bukan? Namun mari kita lihat ketika orangtua mengajarkan anak meminta maaf dengan Anda yang terlebih dahulu melakukannya.
Wajar apabila manusia melakukan kesalahan dan kita bisa mencoba untuk memperbaiki kesalahan. Tidak akan ada perasaan “gengsi” untuk meminta maaf karena wajar saja salah, yang harus dilakukan selanjutnya ialah memperbaiki.
Tanpa kita sadari adakalanya kita menyakiti orang lain, baik dengan perbuatan ataupun perkataan. Penting bagi kita untuk mengakuinya dan menebus kesalahan. Setelah meminta maaf, ada perasaan lega dan menyenangkan. Bukan hanya itu saja, tetapi orang lain juga akan merasa senang dengan kita.
Meminta maaf atas kesalahan merupakan sebuah kewajaran. Tidak ada salahnya meminta maaf. Maaf menjadi sebuah kebiasaan, bukan keterpaksaan. Lalu kapan saat yang tepat untuk minta maaf dan bagaimana cara melakukannya? Berikut beberapa tips yang perlu Anda ketahui untuk membiasakan anak meminta maaf :
- Minta maaf dengan sering
Walaupun hanya kesalahan kecil dan dianggap remeh, biasakan untuk meminta maaf. Seperti “maaf mengganggu waktunya”. Ucapan maaf secara spontan seperti itu akan mengajarkan anak bahwa tidak membutuhkan waktu berpikir panjang untuk meminta maaf. Ketika melakukan kekeliruan sekecil apapun, kita dapat langsung meminta maaf.
- Ketika anak mempermasalahkan hal kecil menjadi hal besar
Terkadang Anda lupa membelikan anak mainan walau ia sudah mengirim pesan untuk Anda membelinya. Mungkin bagi Anda, perkara ini tidaklah besar. Namun bagi anak, hal ini merupakan perkara besar. Ketahuilah hal tersebut sekalipun Anda tidak mengganggapnya besar. Tetaplah meminta maaf. Katakan bahwa Anda sungguh-sungguh lupa untuk membelikannya mainan.
- Minta maaf sekalipun sedang marah
Marah menjadi salah satu alasan ketika orangtua mulai membentak dan berteriak kepada anak. Anda mudah merasa kesal terhadap anak. Ketika Anda membentak anak, anak mulai menangis. Tugas Anda ialah menjelaskan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi, apa penyebab Anda marah dan kesal. Kemudian minta maaf atas teriakan Anda terhadap anak. Pastikan Anda untuk selalu mengendalikan emosi sendiri.
- Tidak apa-apa menjelaskan, namun jangan paksa anak mengerti posisi Anda
Seperti tips pada nomor 3, Anda dapat menjelaskan penyebab Anda marah ketika sedang minta maaf. Namun kesalahannya, banyak orang merusak permintaan maaf dengan membuat alasan yang memaksa orang lain untuk memahaminya. Anda tak perlu mengucapkan, “saya sedang mengalami hal-hal yang tidak mudah”. Semua orang mengalami hari yang sulit, bukan? Dan itu bukan alasan. Karena sekalipun demikian, tidak ada orang yang pantas menerima bentakan karena Anda mengalami hari sulit.
- Buat rencana untuk memperbaiki
Ketika Anda terus menerus disakiti orang lain dan berulang kali pula orang tersebut meminta maaf, Anda sudah tidak percaya lagi akan kata maafnya. Permintaan maaf hanya akan bermakna ketika orang itu berusaha memperbaiki kesalahan dan bukan sekedar meminta maaf. Ketika Anda terlalu sering Minta Maaf Kepada Anak tanpa memberikan solusi yang tepat, anak juga merasa bosan dengan kata maaf Anda. Cobalah untuk mendiskusikan apa yang harus Anda lakukan selanjutnya dengan anak. Mungkin hari itu Anda tidak dapat membelikannya mainan, namun Anda dapat membelikannya di lain waktu.
- Tanyakan kesiapan anak untuk memaafkan
Kebanyakan orangtua melewati tahap ini karena tidak ingin memberi anak kebebasan untuk menahan pengampunan. Namun seharusnya anak juga belajar untuk memaafkan, bukan hanya minta maaf saja. Secara sederhana Anda meminta anak untuk memaafkan, maka juga mendorong emosional anak untuk memiliki hati pemaaf. Saat Anda menanyakan kesiapan anak untuk memaafkan, berarti anak memaafkan dengan tulus tanpa paksaan karena ia telah siap untuk melakukannya.
Tidak ada rasa malu atau saling menyalahkan. Ingatlah selalu bahwa meminta maaf tidak akan berarti tanpa adanya usaha untuk memperbaiki keadaan. Memang sebagai orangtua, butuh keberanian untuk mengakui kesalahan dan Minta Maaf Kepada Anak. Namun dengan hal kecil ini dapat membuat Anda menjadi orangtua yang lebih baik. Anda telah mengajarkan anak untuk bertanggung jawab atas apa yang ia lakukan sekalipun hasilnya buruk.
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